On July 10, 1997, my 4 years of university life finally came to an end. I woke up around 4 o’clock in the morning. I could not sleep well. An inexpressible thought had been wandering in my mind since the graduation ceremony. On that morning, that thought hit me cruelly. With an unfathomable pain, I walked out to the balcony. The scene was no more delightful than the one seen in the daytime. The sky was dark with a misty atmosphere after a night-long drizzle. The bush and the buildings in the distance shaped an integrated mass with a spectral outline. Along with the red dots formed by the light emitted from the street lamps behind the bush, the mass became a monster. The tick-tocks of dripping water somehow sounded like the footsteps of the approaching monster. Suddenly, a breeze went through the balcony. I stepped back as if I was blown by a blizzard. I stretched out my hand unconsciously and reached for the door frame. Shortly, I realized that the threatening was merely an illusion.
Before long, I went back into my bedroom and began to pack my bedding reluctantly. This could be my last packing since I had packed most of my belongings the night before. My uncle had informed me that he would arrange a van for my trip home and that I should have my packing done before his arrival. I was neither the first one nor the last one to leave the campus. Students had started leaving since graduation day. Some of them could not wait to attempt the taste of their first occupations. Some of them had decided to go on with their academic careers. However, the rest were the confused majority, including me. A university degree, which I had been chasing for 15 years, was once an ultimate goal in my life. As I achieved this goal, university life came to an end. At that moment, I felt extremely homeless as if my ivory tower vanished into thin air… While I was thinking aimlessly, I finished my packing.
Then the door was opened. Lin, my 4-year roommate, stumbled into the bedroom. With his wrinkled suit, loosened tie and unshaved depressed face, he looked like a lost soldier running away from a battlefield.
“You finally got the last late night bus?” I pretended to be surprised.
“Yes.” he said.
“How was the interview?” I asked.
“Awful.” That was the fifth time he told me he had not done well on the interviews.
I felt pity for him and tried to comfort him, “How come you push yourself so hard? We all know the job market is not so good this year. So many graduates and …”
He interrupted me and said, “Yao, you know, we have too many reasons to complain to others and too many excuses to forgive ourselves. You always say, ‘this job is not suitable for me’, 'this job is not my preference’, ‘this job maybe too hard’, so on and on. You know what? You are just wasting your time. If you don’t try, you will never have a chance. I would rather fail one more time than hesitate one more minute.”
Lin was right. I was shocked and somehow I was illuminated by his scorching words. Then we both became lost in our thoughts…
Sitting beside my uncle in the van at noon, I waved farewell to Lin. The van took off and I watched through the window. The rain had stopped and the sky was still grey. Everything flashed by like a slide. Washed leaves hanging on twigs looked like stacks of emeralds. Peaceful East Lake was sitting as still as a feminine beauty. Vacant swimming pools and tennis courts seemed like sleeping babies. In the distance ahead, several beams of sunlight penetrated through the clouds. All of a sudden, I felt that I was the only thing running. Chasing the sunlight and leaving my memories behind, I was on my way again.
(Revised by Instructor)
